i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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