By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
