I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
