Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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