just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
