dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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