I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize