What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
