I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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