id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
