Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
