So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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