Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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