Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
