dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
