My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think my moral compass just broke
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
