I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
