It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
