I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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