bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
