Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
