I'm really into asian looking animals
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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