Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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