I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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