how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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