It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
