I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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