Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
