taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
