he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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