Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
