About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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