I think scott just propositioned me for sex
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
