Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
