my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just had sex on a roof
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
