i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
