My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
nutella sex= disaster
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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