Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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