I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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