just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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