i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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