my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
