Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize