What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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