I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
