Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
