did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
