It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
