you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
