You made me cry and you don't even care
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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