well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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