it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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