she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
