This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
