Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
