the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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