i think my mom watched the whole time
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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