we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
