You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize